Recently on Instagram, I asked the question, “True or false: Confidence makes a woman beautiful?” 100% of my audience’s responses were TRUE. I don’t make blanket statements often, but I think we all like to feel confident and find it to be an attractive quality. It’s a trait that naturally draws others in and creates an energy people want to be around.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t wake up feeling confident every single day. Sometimes, my doubts and fears creep in hard and fast. I second-guess myself. I feel off. My mood is touchy. And I don’t naturally feel like my best self.
The good news? It is always possible to shift. You’re just one decision away. I know this can be hard. When we’re in a miserable state, it can feel oddly comforting to stew in it for a while. But when you’re ready to shake it off, step into your full power, show up as your best self, and believe – without a doubt – in your ability to reach your goals, I want you to turn to these 10 quick confidence boosting hacks for support.
And remember, you have immediate access to the confidence within you. Let’s talk about nearly a dozen ways to reach out and claim it.
- List Your 50 Favorite Features
No, that’s not a misprint. I said fifty, with a zero. What are all of the qualities and gifts that make you a fabulous partner, friend, sister, daughter, neighbor, and human being?
Maybe you can whip up the most delicious raw brownies, have completed a marathon, are the one everyone else can count on, kicked butt on your last presentation at work, or write love notes to your spouse on the bathroom mirror. Perhaps, you have a contagious laugh, a smile that lights up the room, are a great listener, or give a mean bear hug. Appearance-wise, you might appreciate your beautiful eyes, crooked smile, long legs, or curvy build.
Whatever you love about yourself, start a list. If you get stuck, ask a friend or family member to share what they like best about you. Make sure you don’t stop until you’ve uncovered at least 50 epic, mundane, and all the reasons in between to honor your awesomeness!
Whenever you doubt for one moment that you are a complete and total powerhouse, I want you to come back to this list, read it, and add at least two more items to it. I don’t care if you write down “raised one million dollars for an orphanage” or “breaks for animals”. These reasons are all valuable, just like you.
2. Take Time To Recharge
Taking time to nurture and care for yourself only happens when you believe that you MATTER. I encourage you to acknowledge your inherent worth and all of the hard work you do day in and day out. A spa day might be just what the doctor ordered. You could draw a warm bubble bath and zone out with some candles and soft music for thirty minutes. Perhaps, it looks like a lunch date with your best gal pal. Might I suggest a light vinyasa class at your local yoga studio or even a short 5-minute break outside in the sunshine, playing with your pet?
The greatest confidence boost you could find may be as simple (and free) as eating your next meal in silence, chewing each bite 20-30 times before swallowing, and savoring every texture and taste. When’s the last time you did that? Tune in to what your body wants. What feels tight or stressed? How can you slow down, express gratitude, and celebrate you?
3. Express Yourself
Confidence is having a deep acceptance and appreciation of who you are at your core. It’s being comfortable in your own skin no matter where you are, who you’re with, or what you’re doing. Is there something you want to try, but fear or self-doubt has kept you from going for it?
For me, it was stepping outside of my comfort zone. When I was working on my own confidence levels, the first thing I did was sign up for aerials classes at a local circus school. I had never done anything athletic in my entire life, not even t-ball as a kid. Learning to climb a rope, soar from the static trapeze, and flip upside down on a pair of silks was just the beginning of a whole new journey for me — and something I never would’ve tried if I was worried about what others would think of me!
I know there’s something inside of you that wants to come out, too. No matter how bold or seemingly insignificant, this is your invitation to go for it.
4. Be Who You’re Becoming
Stay with me, friend. It’s about to get a little deep (but so worth the dive!). One of the most profound truths I learned in my transformational coaching training is that in order to create the result you want (in this case, confidence), it starts how you’re BEING, not what you’re DOING. Embodying the feeling of what you want is so much more important than the actions you take to create the goal.
In other words, embodiment is everything. Take baby steps to start showing up as the woman you want to be right now. Does the most confident version of you go up to a new mom at preschool drop-off and strike up a conversation? Start with a simple wave or a smile today. Be that woman NOW, even in small ways. You already have everything you need inside of you.
5. Get Ready Daily
For some reason, when I was nearing the end of my pregnancy, people kept asking me what my plans were in the first few weeks postpartum. I’d already decided (and made crystal clear to my husband) that my ONLY goal was to keep our tiny human alive and shower —daily. I knew if I stopped taking care of myself, it wouldn’t take long before feelings of self-doubt, isolation, and overwhelm would start sneaking in.
Looking polished, whether in a power suit, a flirty A-line dress, or jeans and your favorite t-shirt can make ALL the difference in how you show up and conquer your day. I’m not saying you need to spend hours getting ready in the morning. Just do what YOU need to do in order to feel your best. Even if no one else is going to see you. Showing up for you will do absolute wonders for your self-esteem. I promise.
6. Focus Out
I love the expression, “When in doubt, focus out.” To me, one of the key benefits to feeling confident is the ability to focus you’re attention on others. If I’m caught up in my own self-doubt and insecurities, I can’t be fully present with you. And if I’m confident to the point of arrogance, I’m tipping the scale in the other direction towards self-focus and inflated importance (or ego). Confidence is that perfect sweet spot between the two.
If you’re feeling less than stellar, sometimes it’s best to put the other confidence boosting hacks aside and focus your attention on serving someone else instead. When you’re thinking about helping a friend, creating a valuable resource for your clients, or any other act of service, it puts you into action. Showing up in ANY capacity is better than sitting life out on the sidelines, waiting to feel confident or stewing in your own self-pity. Time to step up and give the world what only you can.
7. Visualize Like The Pros
If you’re feeling anxious about a particular event where you want to show up confidently, set aside time to mentally rehearse how you want it to go. Visualizations are a powerful way to get your body and your brain geared up for the occasion. Pro athletes do this all the time before competitions. They envision themselves going through every motion of their routine, race, or game, feelings their muscles moving in perfect form, imagining the cheer of the crowds or the firing of the starting gun, and picturing themselves scoring the winning shot or crossing the finish line first. Because it works.
Going through this exercise and really feeling the outcome you desire #1 – signals to your brain that it’s safe to step out and achieve this goal and #2 – heightens your confidence levels once it’s go-time in real life. You’ll have rehearsed the ideal scenario so many times, living it out feels completely second nature. And if visualization exercises are good enough for Olympic athletes, they’re a good enough practice for you and I to try on, too.
8. Make More Decisions
Confident women know what they want and aren’t afraid to go after it. From making business decisions to picking the restaurant when it’s time to order takeout, your opinions matter. Personally, I know how hard this can be. It’s the advice I struggle with the most. As a notorious people-pleaser, Libra, and enneagram 9, I feel best when others are happy. It’s taken a lot of continued discipline to stop discounting my own preferences and start expressing them, especially when it’s an important issue.
If this is a challenge for you, too, start small. Begin speaking up with those you feel most comfortable around, like your partner or best friend. Tell them this is something you’re working on and ask for support and encouragement. Don’t tip toe or apologize for your requests. Once you make a decision, have your own back on it. Eventually, this will get easier and you can stretch your decision-making abilities to new heights. Remember, this is your life. You make the rules!
9. Be Responsible
I’ve touched on this idea and now we’re diving all the way in. Confidence is owning who you are, what you stand for, and how you show up. Confident people don’t make excuses or blame others, even when things go wrong. They don’t play the victim. They know they have the power to change their thoughts, their beliefs, and their results with every choice they make.
So to piggyback off the last confidence-boosting hack, try on a new level of responsibility. Realize that you get to choose exactly how you show up. Remember that God has equipped you with everything you need. You can choose from moment-to-moment to tap into the confidence, grace, love, and trust He provides. Whether you have a spiritual practice or not, lean into the divine power within and know you can create whatever you can imagine (and probably a whole lot more).
10. Work With A Coach Or Mentor
I am an enormous advocate for working with a coach or mentor. I encourage you to find someone who can support you in the specific area you want to grow your confidence levels. From general life and business coaches, to time management and personal style experts (*ahem*), you do NOT need to figure this all out on your own. Seek out a mentor or professional who can help shorten the learning curve and fast track your results. I’ve found in working with many coaches and mentors over the years that they have this beautiful ability to hold up a mirror and reveal what we often can’t see on our own.
If you’re still struggling to find your confidence and fully express yourself, not only through your personal style, but from the inside out, I would love to support you as your Personal Style Coach. Together, we can dial-in your preferences, values, and goals, and start aligning all of the internal factors of who you are with the way you’re showing up.
No matter what, remember you’re only one decision away from a more confident YOU. Try out these exercises whenever you need a quick confidence boost. And let me know any other confidence heightening rituals and routines you love in the comments!