Have I ever told you the story about my biggest style regret to date?
At the very beginning of my career, I was working in personal shopping at Saks Fifth Avenue. One day, I was on a mission to find a wedding guest dress for my then boyfriend’s (now husband’s) cousin’s nuptials.
My well-meaning and much more experienced coworkers unanimously agreed I should choose a pretty midi-dress. The only problem? It was IVORY.
Everything in me said this was the wrong choice to wear to someone else’s wedding and yet, I caved to their pressure. They’d all been personal shoppers for years, sold thousands of dollars worth of merchandise daily, and had books full of clients happily paying for their advice. Who was I to question them?
But question I did… all the way up to the wedding day.
I was so paranoid about this dress choice, I actually had my now mother-in-law call her sister (the bride’s mom) to ask if it was acceptable for me to wear ivory. The bride was wearing pure white, I was assured. It was okay.
The day of the wedding, I felt certain the bride’s friends were going to maul me in the ladies’ room. Instead, a few of them complimented me ─shockingly. And although no one uttered a single critique (to my face), I felt insecure about my outfit choice the ENTIRE NIGHT. It still haunts me as the one outfit I would go back in time and redo if I could.
Was it a big deal? No. In fact, as I was digging up these photos, I realized the grandmother-of-the-bride was wearing white, too! A detail I either never noticed or didn’t remember because I was so hung up on my own fashion faux pas.
But it got me wondering why so many of us don’t trust our own style intuition.
This is a trend I see among my clients, too. Almost all of them voice the same struggles on day 1:
- I don’t know what looks good on me.
- I’m not confident about shopping for myself.
- I have no clue what flatters my body.
- I’m not sure what to add or remove from my wardrobe.
- I don’t know where to shop or what to buy.
The biggest transformation I see with EVERY SINGLE WOMAN I work with is they learn to trust their instincts. By the time our work together is done, they not only have the building blocks for a wardrobe they love, they know ─unquestionably─what they like, what they don’t like, and what makes them feel their best.
This is far and away the most rewarding aspect of what I do.
And I want to support you with learning how to trust your own style intuition so you can achieve similar results. Because yes, you can learn this!
1. Put on your blinders
If you find yourself feeling uncertain about what you like or confused about what’s trending right now, just stop. Stop trying to figure out what everyone else is doing. Stop asking other people for advice about what to wear. Stop following the masses. Stop looking for the answers on Instagram and TikTok.
It’s like taking a test in school and feeling like you don’t know the answer. Your instincts might be telling you to go with option B, but you casually glance over at the “smarter” student sitting across from you (No? Just me?) and notice they picked option C. So what do you do? You pick option C, too, of course!
But then you get your test back a week later and realize B was the right choice. If only you’d trusted your instincts.
Your style is just like this. Although, the only penalty for copying someone else’s taste is never feeling quite like yourself.
2. Dial-in your preferences
If you haven’t already, please take my free Personal Style Quiz and walk through my follow-up 4 Part Signature Style Framework (← this will come straight to your inbox!). It’s time to figure out what you like, what supports your lifestyle, what resonates with your values, and what you want to tell the world through your appearance. This simple and insightful process will help.
3. Reflect on the past
Think about when you’ve felt the most confident and the most insecure. What was different about these times? How were you feeling? What were your thoughts? What were you wearing or not wearing?
Try to approach this exercise from a neutral and loving place without judgment. We all have successes and failures. We all have setbacks. Don’t get hung up on the past, but use what you’ve learned to make better choices about how you show up today and tomorrow.
4. Envision your future
Knowing what you know now, how do you want to look and feel? What goals are you working toward? How can you use your wardrobe to support your vision?
If you DID know what to wear or buy or how to put an outfit together with confidence, what might it be? You’ll be surprised what your brain will offer you when you start expecting an answer.
5. Invest time today
My clients achieve the results they want because they take action and invest the time into figuring out what works for them. You can do this, too, with or without my direct support.
If you don’t know what looks good on your body, start doing some research on your shape and proportions. Seek out style influencers that represent you and your preferences. If you’re unsure which colors to buy, get a Personal Color Palette or read more color-related articles on my blog. Want to clean out your closet and fill in the gaps? Make the time to do it!
Schedule an hour this week. Block off a Saturday. Make a commitment to yourself to figure this out.
And you will.
I promise, you know so much more than you give yourself credit for.
The only thing stopping you from trusting your own style intuition is you. Make this the season you get out of your own way.